


memories

by intohyunie



Category: Stray Kids
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Memories, Mention of alcohol, Photographs, Throwback, alternative universe, but they gotta bear with it, cause they are whipped for hyunjin, free interpretation of the end, friends to lover, hyunjin loves taking photos, i don’t know how to tag, lots of flashbacks, the others don’t really like being photographed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26976142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intohyunie/pseuds/intohyunie
Summary: hyunjin liked taking photos, more than anything of his best friends, because he was afraid that with time he could forget, because he wanted to cherish those moments
Relationships: Bang Chan/Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Kim Seungmin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	memories

**Author's Note:**

> i was watching b me mv making and I got inspired, hope you will like it because this is written so quickly

Hyunjin had always liked taking pictures, it has always been his passion, alongside with dancing. He liked it more than anything if he could immortalise his best friends, whom always complained about it, but he knew that, deep inside, they liked it, because they were always ready to pose once Hyunjin positioned in front of them with the camera. The tall boy couldn’t help it. He had to take pictures, he had to print those memorable moments on papers, even those in which they would just lay on the couch and watch a movie, even when nothing memorable was happening, he had to take pictures. He knew that he had to cherish them, because the future was unknown to him, and he was scared that he was going to forget about this moments. He had tons and tons of photo albums full of pictures of his friends, family or whatever he thought it was worth taking a picture of. He liked to look at those pictures and remember when he took them, with a soft smile on his face and his mind remembering every detail of those days.

He had divided and organised the photos in different photo albums and wrote on it what photos there were in it, to not get confused when he wanted to look at them; for example if he wanted to look at his family’s, he opened a yellow one with _family_ written on it, if he wanted to look at his best friends he opened a blue one, with _pieces of heart_ written on it. His friends made fun of him once they read it, saying he was too cheesy, but it was just the truth. His friends meant a lot to him, they were his everything, he also had one dedicated only to his dog.

His parents had gave him his first and real camera during his first year of high school, but before that he used his parents phone or those cheap yellow cameras he found in gift shops or those kind of places. He took care of the camera just as much as he took care of his dog, Kkami. He remembered the smiles he had in his face when he opened the box, he made sure to make his father take a picture of that moment. And there it was, on his desk, the very first picture he took with his brand new camera. He was so happy. He hugged his parents so tight and even started crying. They knew how much he loved taking pictures, and after many and many months of whining and crying forced and fake tears, anything to get a camera he would say, his parents had gave in.

Hyunjin liked looking at his photos mostly when it was a rainy day, when it mostly reflected his mood. He liked to sit on his bed, surrounded by his photo albums, wrapped on his favourite blanket; his dog next to him, earphones in and pictures in his hands. There were times when he found himself giggling while looking at them and remembering those times, but there were also times when hot tears started to roll down his soft rosy cheeks. It happened when he looked at the picture of Jisung and Minho’s first kiss.

_The boys decided to met at the beach and sleep there, to spend the weekend in a different way, that’s what Jisung had told them. But in reality he had planned everything just to finally confess his feelings to Minho. As always, Hyunjin had his camera in his hands, and was snapping few pictures at the sea and at their attempt of camping, with camping chairs and everything, they even started a bonfire, without burning anything or themselves, that was a win. Everyone was laughing, drinking from the can of their cheap beers and singing loudly when Chan had connected his phone to his speaker. Maybe they were a bit drunk, because Jeongin, who had always declared he hated any kind of skinship, was literally clinging on Seungmin and touching him everywhere. Felix had his cheeks coloured with a deep red, while laying on Changbin’s legs, while Jisung was looking at Minho with enamoured eyes, but that was nothing new. Hyunjin laughed looking at them, and taking pictures, while Chan, who had only drunk one beer, was looking after them and making sure no one was going to get hurt or anything._

_At some point a very drunk Jisung decided he wanted to have a swim. So he stripped from his clothes and run towards the sea, screaming and laughing. Felix followed him soon after, followed then by everyone else. Chan and Hyunjin though, decided to stay at the beach and watch instead. Hyunjin wasn’t pleased by the idea of swimming in the same water as Minho, due to past experience in which Minho nearly had drowned him, and declared he was never going to swim with him, never again; while Chan didn’t want to leave the taller boy alone, and they just sat there, next to each other, with Hyunjin’s head in Chan’s shoulder, and Chan playing with Hyunjin’s black long hair._

_Everything was going so well, when at some point Jisung stopped the music and everyone looked at him._

_“Sorry to interrupt the fun, but I have an announcement to make” he stated, and everyone looked at him confused, well everyone but Hyunjin, who knew Jisung’s plans. The blond haired boy took a deep breath and turned around to face Minho, who was smiling, but confused._

_“Hyung, I really don’t know how to say this, so I’ll just go straight to the point” he started talking, Hyunjin ready with his camera. Jisung closed his eyes for a moment, when he felt and hand on his, squeezing it gently._

_“You don’t have to say anything Hanie, I feel the same” Minho had said, shocking everyone. Hyunjin’s mouth dropped opened, because he really wasn’t expecting that, no one was. Minho had always been the most reserved between them, which was hard, because each of them had such exploding personality, that sometimes even him was dragged in, especially by Jisung. Minho was much more reserved about his feelings, that’s why everyone was shocked by that. Even more when the older boy had leaned over Jisung and pressed his lips against his._

_That was the right moment. Quickly, Hyunjin brought the camera closer to his eye and took a picture of them._

_“They are cute right?” Chan had told him once the new couple parted from their kiss. Hyunjin looked at him nodding, with a small smile in his face._

_“You can’t imagine how Jisung was panicking this whole week, it was too much, even for me” hyunjin giggled and rolled his eyes, followed by Chan._

_“I can’t, but Minho was panicking as well. Since the very first moment you guys decided to organise this thing, he decided he was going to confess” Chan said and looked at Hyunjin while smiling._

Hyunjin giggled softly at the memory, wiping away few tears that had escaped his eyes, and shook his head, he missed his best friends, he missed his _family_.  
He couldn’t recall when things started to fall apart, maybe when Felix left to go back to his hometown, and so Changbin decided to step aside from their group for a while. Maybe when Jisung and Minho decided to live together and took a while to settle in, but it was already too late. Or maybe when Jeongin and Seungmin started dating and being on their own most of the time. Or when he and Chan had an horrible break up, which decided the fate of their group. He didn’t know when, in that moment he only knew he was feeling nostalgic. He missed them, more than anything.

 _Chan_ , he couldn't lie, he was missing him like the air. Their love was those of the movies: the have been friends for a while, they slowly fell for each other and at the end the got together. Of course there have been some ups and downs, heavy fights, words they didn't really mean to say, but at they managed to get through everything and stayed together. They were made for each other, everybody knew that, everyone could see that. Hyunjin was so dependant on Chan, when he struggled with his anxiety Chan was there, when every single night he woke up soaked in sweat after a nightmare, Chan was there, it didn't matter the time, when Hyunjin texted Chan, saying he needed him, in less than five minutes he was there, holding the younger in his arms and cradling him to sleep.

Hyunjin hugged his legs resting his head on his knees, he shouldn't be thinking about him, it hurt. He wasn't sure he was going to heal, to move on. Chan was his entire world, his everything. It didn't matter how many times Jisung or Seungmin told him to stop crying, that it wasn't worth it. For him, anything about Chan was worth it, even crying for days and nights. It didn't matter to him if it was Chan who broke up with him. The reason he gave Hyunjin wasn't quite sure to the taller one. Chan said something about them being too different, something about the amount of work he had to focus on. It was rushed and words blurred out one after another without breathing or thinking. The truth is that Chan was feeling less and less good enough for Hyunjin. After he had let him down and disappointed him several times, he couldn't stop thinking about Hyunjin's sad, puffy for the tears, eyes. And he couldn't forgive himself for making him sad. He knew Hyunjin deserved someone better, someone who could have loved him like he deserved.

Hyunjin never knew the truth, he just lived with the thought of having done something bad, of not loving Chan like he deserved. He lived with the thought of not being good enough for the other. He started blaming himself, day by day his existence slowly turned in agony. His chest was always aching, he barely got two hours of sleep or even had the strength to eat something. His parents were concerned, just as Jisung and Seungmin, but to live again, to go back to life, Hyunjin needed Chan.

He stood up and stretched out his long limbs, before rubbing his eyes, erasing any trace of tears. He walked towards the shelves near his desk and stood there, looking through his photo albums. Nibbling on his bottom lip, he slowly lifted his arm and traced his fingers on the back of a black photo album. He started at it, debating if he should have looked at it or not. At the end the less rational part of his brain won, and he took it, looking at its cover. Chan's name was written in it, with Hyunjin's handwriting. He sighed softly and walked back to his bed sitting on it. He decide to have a different photo album for Chan when he realised he was in love with him. It was almost full. Hyunjin couldn't help but take so many pictures of Chan, because he was just _him_. He had pictures of him laughing, smiling, being angry, sad, everything. He just loved it.

He slowly opened the album and stared at the first picture. It was actually the very first picture Hyunjin took of him. Chan was showing his side profile, probably talking with one of the boys. Actually that was the very first picture he took with his camera, and that felt even more special to him. He traced his fingers on the photo and turned page, finding one in which Chan was eating. He giggled softly vividly remembering how much Chan loved food and eating. Most of their dates would be at restaurants, McDonalds, convenient stores, any place with food. It was cute. Actually anything about Chan was cute for Hyunjin.

His hair in the morning, curly and soft (Hyunjin loved running his hands in those soft curls and play with them), his dimples when he smiled (Hyunjin took lots of pictures of those), his giggle when Hyunjin complimented him on his look or his songs, everything. He was so truly deeply In love with the older one, and honestly, he never stopped. Not even after six months since their break up happened. Every time Hyunjin thought about Chan, his heart would start beating in his chest, just like the first time, it had always beaten in that way. He smiled sadly turning the page and another one and so on.

By the half of the album his eyes were full of tears. He didn't bothered to wipe them, letting them wet his shirt and jeans, he was too focused on looking at _his_ Chan. He saw pictured he forgot he had take, and it made him angry. How could he forget about him, he couldn't accept that. It has been five months since the last time Hyunjin looked at album. Before the break up, he usually looked at it one a week, to add new ones or to just look at Chan. After the break up, it happened only once, it was too painful.

He turned another page and the next photo made him burst into tears. He couldn't control them anymore. It was a picture if them kissing, their first kiss, that Jisung decide to immortalise. Yeah, their first kiss happened in front of all their friends.

_It was Hyunjin's birthday, and he decided to throw a small party at his house, with his friends. A month or so since he started feeling weird things towards one of his friend in the group. He talked about it with Jisung, and he 'advised' Hyunjin to go for it, but the taller one was scared. He was terrified to ruin things between them or the group, at that Jisung rolled his eyes and told Hyunjin that, if he wasn't going to make the first move, then he would have. Hyunjin didn't understand what he meant, so he decided to just shrug it off, Jisung was a lot of words, but when it came to actual facts he always stepped back._

_"Alright whores, are we playing or not?" Minho said wrapping his arms around Jisung's waist making him sit on his lap. Jisung's eyes were on Hyunjin, he had a weird expression on his face, which made Hyunjin frown._

_"Yes we are, Felix and Seungmin are preparing the cups and the table" Changbin said, who was sitting right beside Minho and Jisung, who were shamelessly making out._

_"Stop eating your faces on my couch" Hyunjin whined throwing a pillow at them, laying his head on Chan's shoulder, who was sitting next to hi on the big fluffy red carpet. Chan chuckled wrapping his arm around the younger's middle, to support him. Hyunjin felt his heart skipping a beat at that, or maybe two._

_"You're just jealous, Jinnie" Jisung said winking at the taller one, before going back to what he was doing. Hyunjin never felt his cheeks heating up so fast in his life. Jisung really had no shame to embarrass him in that way. He sighed annoyed, not because of what he said, but because he was right. He _was_ jealous. He wanted to be able to kiss the one he loved with all his heart. He wanted to be able to hug and kiss Chan whenever he wanted, well not like he couldn't hug him or being clingy to him now, but it was different. Totally different when love was involved. It wasn't a hug you give to a friend anymore, it wasn't like holding your friend's hand. After realising his feelings, doing that things became difficult for Hyunjin, he was scared to be caught. He was sacred that someone was going to understand what was going on in his head and heart, and he didn't want that. He was more sacred of ruining everything they had. Their strong friendship, that bond they had, their chemistry. If Chan didn't liked him back, he didn't know what he would have done. He probably would have been sad, for days, or even months._

_"Alright ladies, everything's set up" Felix announced walking towards where the others were sitting, inviting them to stand up and follow him to the back of the house. They decided to play their first, and maybe, only game in the garden, near the pool. It was a nice setting, with the dim lights and the moon and stars, surprisingly very shiny that night, even if it was a bit cold and windy, it didn't bothered the group of friends._

_"Our beautiful birthday boy can choose his team" Jisung chirped wrapping his arm around Hyunjin's shoulder, despite being much shorter than him._

_"Choose widely, or you'll end up drunk after two rounds like last time" Jeongin chuckled , making the others laugh as well, everyone but Changbin, who crossed his arms over his chest._

_"I didn't know Binnie-hyung had such an horrible aim" Hyunjin whined walking towards the table and standing beside it, looking at his friends and mentally remembering who had the best aim and who didn't. It was hard, because among all of them only Chan, and sometimes Minho, had the best aim, but he needed another one his team._

_"My aim is perfect, it just happened that night to be awful" Changbin protested, and the others laughed again. Felix walked beside him and placed a kiss on his cheek, telling him he was a great player, making Changbin smile widely._

_"Yes yes, enough talking, now choose Jinnie" Seungmin waved his hand catching everyone's attentions and averting it on said boy._

_"Well, of course i'm going to pick my favourite hyungs, Chan and Minho of course" Hyunjin giggled at Changbin's expression, but he really didn't want to lose that time._

_"Hm and for last but not the least, Innie" he opened his arms and waited for the younger to hug, which happened soon after. Jisung whined, complaining about the fact of being in the same team as Changbin, no one paid attention to him, now used to it, he could have been as dramatic as Hyunjin, or more, if he wanted, and that was a lot. After setting up the order, they started playing the so waited game, beer pong. Tons of cups filled with beer, and maybe something else, were spread on the table, and each team at each side of the table. Hyunjin was the first, for his team, while Jisung for his. After glaring at each other, Jisung threw his ball, missing the cup, making Hyunjin's team cheer happily, and his own team whine._

_"And you said I have a bad aim" Changbin scoffed crossing his arms. Jisung threw him a glare, that, if it was possible, it would have killed him._

_"You lost Sungie, now drink" Minho chuckled, making his team mates laugh as well._

_"Shut up Minho" Jisung puffed his round cheeks, which were slowly turning red. After that they continued playing, and surprisingly Jisung's team won. Hyunjin was speechless and his mouth opened in 'O' shape. While the other team was cheering and celebrating their win, it was robbed, if you asked Minho._

_As expected, Hyunjin's team was drunk by the end if the game. Felix's fault, if you asked Chan, because he put more than 10 cups for each side, to make the game "more fun" if you asked said boy. No one really complained about it, they were having fun, and that was what really mattered. The game was indeed fun, with Jisung and Hyunjin's never-ending glares at each other, Changbin trying to cheat and Minho always with his eyes on him, Chan soon dropping his faced of the hyung, mocking, with the help of Jeongin, the other group. Karma, if you asked Seungmin. Chan was so busy laughing at Changbin, that missed most of his chances. Hyunjin wouldn't stop pouting and whining, he as well, too busy competing with Jisung into heir glare contest, that missed most of his tries, got drunk easily._

_Now they were back in the living room, some of them laying in the couch, the others on the floor, munching on some snacks. Hyunjin's head was on Jeongin's lap, who was playing with his long dark hair. He was so relaxed and deep in his thoughts, that he almost forgot his friends were there. Almost. Because Chan was ghosting his fingers on his legs, as a sort of massage, making it impossible for Hyunjin to forget he was there. His cheeks were deep red and burning, but he was glad that Chan had his eyes closed._

_He couldn't lie, he liked a drunk Chan. He was so clingy and looking for any kind of skinship. It wasn't always like that tho. Most of the times Chan was the 'angry drunk' it was funny too, but it happened that he got into some fights for no reason, always gaining his knuckles broken, just as his lip and cheek and a dark eye. The funny thing was that, apparently, only Hyunjin could calm him down, so the others would always send him to get Chan out of troubles._

_It was weird, sometimes. Chan would starts fights with someone who would do compliments at Hyunjin. Hyunjin never paid attentions to those comments about his body or his face, but somehow Chan always knew when someone was talking to Hyunjin, or even touching him in ways the taller boy didn't like at all. Chan was always there, telling those guys to fuck off, sometime those duded got mad and punched Chan. Oh, everytime it happened Hyunjin felt guilty. He always cried, when no one could see him._

_it was nice, tho. Warmth wrapped Hyunjin's heart in those moments. Chan was always there to protect him from everything. But he always found himself that maybe, Chan would have done the same for the others. No, he was sure of it. After all, Hyunjin was no one but a friend for Chan, what would he expect? Yes, it was nice, but he never wanted Chan to get hurt because of him. He always brought the older back to his apartment, took care of his wounds, changed his clothes and tucked him under the sheets. In those moments, Hyunjin's heart wouldn't stop beating, not even when it started hurting. Oh, how bad he wanted to kiss him, how bad he wanted Chan to tell those guys to fuck off because he was his boyfriend. In those moments, when Chan was tucked in his bed, with the covers up to his chin, Hyunjin would caress the wound on his cheek, whispering Chan was an idiot for getting into fights like that. He was glad that Chan was always asleep by then._

_It was quiet, far too quiet in the room for them. Indeed, the quiet didn't last too long. Jisung sat straight up, making the bowl that was on his lap, fall on Minho's lap. That caused Minho to glare at his boyfriend' but Jisung was too busy to notice him._

_"Let's play" he chirped grabbing the empty bottles of soju next to him and sitting on the carpet. He placed in the middle and waited for the others to gather around. Hyunjin didn't like the idea, he knew something was up in Jisung's head. He could tell by the way Jisung was staring at him for the whole time, with his weird smile. He couldn't complain tho, everyone was already around the bottle. He whined loudly, and crawled towards the circle and sat next to Changbin and Minho. Chan was in front of him. His cheeks were coloured in a pale red and his black hair messy. If possible, he looked even more beautiful._

_"I'll start" Jisung announced, awakening Hyunjin from his thoughts. For once he was happy about that. He hugged his legs and watched the bottle spin and eventually pointing at Felix. The game started in a good way. Most of the dares, well all for them, were made to embarrass everyone in the group. And all of them succeeded to embarrass each of them, or to make then even more drunk than before, Like Chan, Hyunjin and Seungmin. Hyunjin wouldn't stop praising Minho for his beautiful nose and Changbin for his chin, surprisingly Changbin laughed at that._

_It was again Jisung's turn to spin the bottle and soon it pointed at Hyunjin. He squeaked happily and quickly drunk the rest of the liquid on his cup, he lost the counts of how many cups and beer he drank, he didn't care anyway, he wanted to have fun with his friends the day of his birthday._

_"Dare dare dare" he slurs out placing both of his hands, in front of him, on the carpet. Jisung looked at him, like someone who know better than anyone else. And it was actually like that. Non one knew what was going on in his head, never._

_"Okay well, I dare you to kiss our Channie-hyung" he said naturally, leaning against the couch. Hyunjin looked at him with widened eyes. He was taken aback after those words. Kissing chan, like that, being drunk, it wasn't right. He knew he wasn going to regret it the next day, but why, in that moment, he didn't care at all about consequences. It wasn't like him. Hyunjin always thoughts about the pros and cons, always thought deeply about what to do. It rarely happened to him to take decision without thinking about consequences. His eyes lands on Chan, who was looking back at him, he was probably having the same debate inside of him, but he was good at hiding it. Hyunjin was visibly panicking._

_"Come on Jinnie, its just a kiss, an innocent peck" Jisung whined already sliding closer to Hyunjin, who looked at the shorter one. He didn't know what to do, and plus the others were looking at him, expecting him to answer and that made him more anxious. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. It was nice of Chan not pushing it and just waiting for Hyunjin to answer yes or no. He was always like that, making sure everyone was comfortable, not pushing through things, That helped Hyunjin to fall in love with him even more._

__

_Hyunjin opened his eyes soon meeting Chan's gaze, who was smiling at him, reassuringly. He then moved his eyes on everyone, and all of them were looking at him, waiting, anticipating, it was just a kiss for them, a kiss that you share with your dearest friends. And it happened, more than once between Hyunjin and Jisung or with Changbin, before Jisung started dating Minho, and before Changbin realised he had a huge crush on Felix. They were innocent pecks that they shared, nothing wrong with that, so why was it so different for Hyunjin to share one with Chan? They didn't knew, of course they didn't. But Jisung did, he knew it wasn't _just_ a kiss for Hyunjin._

__

_Jisung knew how to be brat when he wanted, he sure was acting like one right now. But honestly Hyunjin was too drunk and his head was hurting too bad to bother it with some thinking. So he just shrugged and slides closer to Chan. Blood rushed to his cheeks once he was close enough to smell Chan's cologne. He loved it. He honestly loved Chan's scent even without his favourite cologne. He smelled like lavender and Hyunjin loved lavender with all his heart, it also smelled like cigarettes. it didn't bothered Hyunjin, he liked the contrast. And in that moment he could smell that as well. He didn't remember when Chan smoke, but it didn't matter in that moment. Hyunjin raised his head to look at Chan, who had glossy eyes and red cheeks as well, he looked beautiful._

__

_"Oh come on you two, we want to continue the game" Minho whined, but with a chuckle at the end. Hyunjin fluttered his eyelashes, but didn't move. He actually didn't know what to do. He was waiting for Chan to make the first move, because he suddenly felt unable to do anything, even breath. Chan was still smiling, and slowly raised his hand placing it on Hyunjin's puffy rosy cheek. His touch was gentle, despite having calloused and broken hands. He caressed the younger's cheek with his thumb slowly leaning closer and closer, up until there were few inches separating them. Chan's lips were parted, and Hyunjin could smell alcohol in his hot breath._

__

_Hyunjin sucked in a breath when he noticed Chan was getting closer. His hands started sweating and he gripped on the cloth of his shirt, his knuckles turning white at the thigh grip. His heart was beating fast, echoing in his whole body. He could hear muffled sounds around him, but he was too focused on what was going to happen, to care about what his friends were talking about. Chan's hand slipped down on his chin, gently gripping onto it and pulling Hyunjin close to his face, finally pressing their lips together._

__

_Hyunjin gasped surprised and his eyes opened wide, but he closed them soon after, when Chan started to move his lips. It wasn't Hyunjin's first kiss, but it happened so long ago, that he almost forgot how to kiss properly. Luckily Chan was taking the lead in their kiss, or he was sure that if he did, it was going to be an horrible mess. Chan's mouth was warm, his lips tasted nice, they were soft. At the beginning of the kiss Hyunjin was tense, rigid, but when Chan slipped his other hand on his hip he visibly relaxed. They kissed slowly at the beginning, both testing each's taste. Thousands of butterflies started to roam around Hyunjin's stomach, making more blood to rush to his cheeks, and colour them in a bright red. He was loving every moment of their kiss. Chan’s touch was gentle, as if he was scared to break Hyunjin small body, compared to his._

__

_At some point, Hyunjin couldn't tell for how long they've been kissing, Chan squeezed Hyunjin's hip, as if he wanted to tighten the grip on it. And it was like that, because soon after Hyunjin found himself sitting on Chan's lap, and the kiss turned into something more. More passionate, rough, but still somehow gentle, but nothing messy. Hyunjin found it hard to follow Chan's pace, but he was loving it, every moment of it. His arms were secured around Chan's neck, and Chan's arms around Hyunjin's tiny waist, pulling him even closer to his body. At that point Hyunjin really thought his heart was going to come out his chest, for he way it was beating, he was also sure than Chan was feeling it too, their chests were basically touching, pressed one against the other._

__

_None of them wanted to part, to take to an end that kiss. But eventually they had to, for lack of air, or they would have gladly continue to kiss, not bothered by the idea of being watched by their friends. They both had their eyes closed, and their foreheads were against each other. Hyunjin was feeling like dying, his legs were shaking, and he was so glad that Chan was supporting him and that he was sitting. Hyunjin didn’t remember much of that night, he only had some confused memories and what his friends had told him._

He perfectly remembered the next morning. Jisung proudly showed him the picture he took of him and Chan kissing, Hyunjin was livid. Saying he was mad, it was so little to describe how he was feeling. He felt betrayed, mad, angry and sad. Angry at himself, for having drunk that much, angry at Jisung, for daring him to kiss Chan, knowing the soft spot he had for the older one. Sad, because he didn’t remember anything. He didn’t want his first kiss with Chan to be like that. He wanted to remember it, and smile like and idiot every time he did. He stopped talking with Jisung for a whole month after that, and it took a bit to him to forgive his friend. It was thanks to Chan, of course.

Hyunjin couldn’t lie, he hated Jisung. How could his best friend to something like that? He knew what it meant to Hyunjin, he knew how much he loved Chan, and how scared he was to fuck up their friendship. And yet, he betrayed him like that.

Yes, Hyunjin could have said no, could have refused to kiss Chan, but he was so drunk that night, and he hated himself for that. He shouldn’t have drunk, he should have refused to accept the dare. But what’s done it’s done, right? Chan was so nice about it. He said it was okay, he told Hyunjin to stop bothering his pretty head with useless thinking. He promised him that their friendship wasn’t ruined, and Hyunjin was happy about that, yet he was sad. Sad because he hoped that Chan would have told him he liked him, would have kissed him and asked him to be his boyfriend. But he knew it was all in his head. He liked to torture and fool himself with those thoughts. He always laughed at his naivety.

Even though he perfectly knew it was only on his head, he still had hopes. Well, he could’ve never imagined that, two months later, Chan would have confessed to him. He was genuinely surprised, and so happy he even started crying.

When Chan confessed, he told Hyunjin that he was glad Jisung dared them to kiss, because after that and after some deep thinking, he found the courage to confess his feelings. Hyunjin found out that Chan had a crush on him since always, basically. But he always thought that Hyunjin deserved someone better, someone more, prettier, funnier than him. Hyunjin laughed at that. In his eyes, Chan was perfect, the most beautiful person he had ever seen, the funniest, everything. Chan was everything Hyunjin always looked for. Hyunjin was happy.

The happiest person in the world. And it was like for the whole following year, up to their first anniversary. Hyunjin smiled at that memory and turned another page, trailing his fingers on each photos. When his eyes landed to a particular one, his smile faded away. He fought with himself about keeping or not that photo, but Chan was just so pretty, and he loved how it turned out, that he just couldn’t. Despite the bad memory behind that photo.

_Three months after their anniversary, during summer, Hyunjin wasn’t happy. He was in fact crying, desperately. His throat was hurting, his sobs were loud and his tears wouldn’t stop to roll down his cheeks. It was heartbreaking; if you asked Chan, who was standing right in front of him, tears burning his eyes, and a lump in his throat. He was trying so hard to not cry, to avoid Hyunjin to feel even worse._

_“W-why?” Hyunjin asked, voice low, broken by his sobs._

_“I’m sorry Jinnie, I can’t do it anymore” Chan repeated for the fourth time. Hyunjin shook his head again and gripped with all his forces in Chan’s hands. He was desperate. He had never felt like that in his whole life. It was hard to breath, to think, to talk; his throat would hurt every time words left his mouth._

_“Please be happy” Chan looked down at Hyunjin, who was looking back at him, with glossy red eyes, and red cheeks, wet with tears._

_“Remember I will always love you, always” Chan continued in a whisper and leaned down, kissing for the last time who was the love of his life._

Hyunjin’s heart broke once again at that memory. He sighed loudly looking at the photo; he remembered he took it one hour or so before that happened. They were enjoying their time together when suddenly, Chan’s behaviour changed, moving from laughing and joking with Hyunjin, to being serious and tense. Hyunjin shook his head, he didn’t want to remember that day, it was too painful.

He felt like he was going to start crying soon, so he closed the photo album and took a deep breath, before stained up and putting it back to its place. It was enough for that day, the travel in his memories was officially over.

After cleaning up his room, he took some clean and more comfortable clothes from his closet and walked in his private bathroom, to take a very hot and a very long shower. He took his time to free his head and relaxes his muscles under the hot water. Once he was done, and relaxed enough, he walked back in his room, already dressed up, and drying as much as he could his hair with a towel. He flopped in his bed and in that moment this phone screen lighted up, showing the notifications of a message. 

He lazily took his phone from the nightstand, and as soon as his eyes landed on the screen, he widened them, freezing in the spot. He started at the screen for five good minutes. He rubbed his eyes, thinking he had just imagined it, but when he opened them again, the notification was still there, brightly showing the name of who sent him that message. His heart started beating fast, just by starting at the name, wondering why _he_ texted him.

_**From : Channie💕🐺** _

_Hey Jinnie_

__  
  


**Author's Note:**

> And here we are with my very first hyunchan!! I was a bit nervous while writing this, I don’t really know why tho.  
> Anyway, I hope you liked it, and you’re free to interpretate the end however you want.  
> I invite you to read my other stories, and yeah see you next time <33  
> (Forgive me if there’s any mistake, I’ll make sure to correct it)


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